My name is Francie Gerard Casey, and I am an Irish Traveller. Though my roots are firmly planted in Ireland, I’ve spent many years in London. This city has always felt like a home away from home, a place that embraced me while I was far from my motherland. Yet, amidst the vibrant streets and busy life of London, I encountered a battle I never anticipated—a battle with my own mind.
The Silent Struggle
In my early twenties, I began to experience something I couldn’t quite name at the time. Panic attacks struck me daily, leaving me confused and frightened. I didn’t understand what anxiety was, and I certainly didn’t know how to cope with it. So, I stayed silent, hoping it would somehow go away.
But silence can be heavy. The more I kept my struggles hidden, the worse they became. Over time, anxiety wrapped itself around me like a chain, and by my early thirties, I hit a breaking point. I suffered a mental health breakdown and was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, depressive disorder, and PTSD by healthcare professionals.
At first, it was difficult to accept. My mind, once my strongest ally, felt like my greatest enemy. Fear dominated my life, and I withdrew from the world, becoming a shadow of the person I once was. I never imagined that this could become my reality. But it did. And I had to find a way to live with it.
Choosing to Fight
Despite the darkness, something inside me refused to give up. I knew I had to confront my fears, even if it seemed impossible. Slowly, I sought help. Counseling and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) gave me tools to understand and manage my mental health. But true healing didn’t happen overnight—it was a slow process, one I had to commit to every single day.
I began reading self-help books, immersing myself in knowledge about anxiety, depression, and trauma. With each page, I learned about my triggers and discovered strategies to stay calm during those moments when anxiety threatened to overwhelm me. I set small, achievable goals—simple things like stepping outside into the sunshine, something I had once feared.
Faith, Art, and Nature: Finding Light in Darkness
One pivotal moment came when I turned to faith. One night, with a heart full of hope, I prayed deeply for strength and healing. It wasn’t an immediate transformation, but something shifted. I realized that my mental health struggles had always been a part of me, but I hadn’t treated myself with the care I deserved.
Around this time, I discovered art as a form of expression. Picking up a pencil, I began sketching my emotions, pouring my pain onto paper. Through drawing and painting, I found a voice for the feelings I couldn’t put into words. It was cathartic, a way to release the heaviness inside me.
Nature also became a source of healing. Spending time outdoors, feeling the earth beneath my feet, and being surrounded by the beauty of the natural world helped me reconnect with myself. As an indigenous individual, I felt a deep spiritual bond with nature—it reminded me of who I am and where I come from.
Rebuilding Myself, One Day at a Time
Through this journey, I’ve learned to be gentle with myself. I no longer live by the rigid expectations of what society says a man should be. I’ve accepted that I am enough, just as I am. I am kind, loving, sincere, and creative. I am my mother’s son, and I am proud of the person I’ve become.
I also realized the importance of joy—finding small moments of happiness in daily life. Whether it’s meeting a friend, visiting an art gallery, or simply taking time to read a good book, these moments nourish my soul. And one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned being kind to others uplifts my own spirit in ways I never imagined.
A Message of Hope
There are still days when the shadows creep in, days when I feel fragile. But I’ve come to understand that strength is born from fragility. I’ve built myself up slowly, piece by piece, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
To anyone who may be facing similar struggles, I want you to know: you are not alone. It’s okay to feel lost, to cry, to hurt. But never lose hope. Keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Speak gently to your soul. And always remember—you are stronger than you know.
Life is beautiful, even in its hardest moments. And no matter how dark it may seem, there is always light to be found. I am living proof that healing is possible, that life can be rebuilt, and that hope, above all, is a powerful thing.